What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize