i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
