is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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