you have to choose: penises or morals?
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
