just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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