Non-Jews are for practice
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
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