my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Where are you guys?
Drunk
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
