If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
