we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
