He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
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