Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
