i think my tv is drunk
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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