I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Randomize
