hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
