so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Did I show you my penis last night?
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize