Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
