why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
