I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Are my feet made of real feet?
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
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