I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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