girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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