Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
