I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
operation harelip BJ is a go
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
did you just send me my own nude
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
