I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize