is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
