it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
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