you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
