What a fucking waste of an outfit
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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