So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
