Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
