Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
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