how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
