im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Randomize
