Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
