I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Randomize
