I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
