actually, I'm a sock model
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't talk, ducks in the car
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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