NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
