Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
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