We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
