wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
