At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
