I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
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