i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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