How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Randomize
