"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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