if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
so that wasnt chicken after all
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize