We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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