Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Randomize
