I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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