I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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