People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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