i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
