a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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