im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
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