dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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