even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
