Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
