So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize