My pussy is not your playground.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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