no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
