Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
