I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
