Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
