we have pet lesbian snakes
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
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