arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
