it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize