Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
time to smoke my breakfast
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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