i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
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There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
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