so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Randomize
