a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
